Matt vs. the Academy

Everyone has a film that they unconditionally adored during their childhood. You'd watch it over and over, and laugh or cry, or whatever you were meant to do, in all the right places. Now, as a fully grown adult, the nostalgia you feel for the film seems to overpower any critical thinking, and you simply won't have anyone speak ill of your favourite little filmy-wilmy. It's your film-baby. We all have one. Last night, my beautiful wife Kat introduced me to her film-baby, a whodunit farce entitled The Private Eyes. You may not have heard of it, and there's a fairly good reason for that. It stars Tim Conway and Don Knotts as a pair of bumbling detectives attempting to solve a series of murders at an English manor. It comes complete with all the comedy cliches, including a revolving false wall and even a "Walk this way" gag. But it was made in 1980, so I guess it's all forgivable. When the film ended, I was half expecting Kat to turn to me and say, "Hmm,...

Last night, I had a meeting with an actor's agent here in New York. It went well. I performed a monologue. We had a nice chat. And then it was over... I know I shouldn't expect anything to happen immediately. Perhaps I'm just too impatient. But in my head are visions of agents falling to their knees, waving contracts and begging me to sign with them on the spot. Surely, that's not an impossible scenario ... Okay, shutup. In any case, I was on the subway back home, in the midst of my failing attempt to ignore the grubby 11-year-old girl who seemed to be under the mistaken impression she was auditioning for a pole dancing club, when I began to fill my mind with great scenes from great movies. And I realised the other reason for beginning this project - I want to be in a great scene from a great movie. Not that this project will somehow lead me to that goal. I guess I just expect that there will be lots of great scenes for me to watch in the coming months. And I wasn't...

After much deliberation on how to introduce this ridiculous project, I have come to the conclusion that said project is not merely ridiculous, but also, for the most part, arbitrary and irrelevant. For all intents and purposes, this project has very few intents or purposes. In simple terms, I plan to sit down and watch (not in one sitting, obviously) all 465 films that have been nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture (although, by the time I am finished this project, that number will have increased to 485). I could rattle off some cliches about how many times I've been inspired by the art of cinema and, though that may be true, I don't really believe that's why I'm doing this. Or I could pretend to be disillusioned by the Academy's choices over the years, condemning their politically and financially fuelled corruption, and so, off I go, heroically righting those wrongs by awarding my own Best Picture. But, the truth of the matter is I don't actually c...